Christmas: What’s So Wonderful About It?

the-most-wonderful-time-of-the-yearI reminisce about Christmas days, ranging from childhood to last year. They range from Jesus only to Santa Claus everything. They range from getting everything I wanted to getting absolutely nothing, from going into debt to not spending a dime, eating dinner with 50/60 friends and family members to spending it alone. They range from spending Christmas time in my hometowns of Portsmouth, VA and Havelock, NC to Okinawa, Japan, from taking a few weeks off to working on Christmas day. From my wide range of experiences to everything in between, I so enjoy this time of year because of the positive energy and good vibes. Is it that I am just more aware and sensitive or is this time of year really most wonderful? I don’t know. Should I care? I do.

I took time this year to listen, to intentionally hear and observe for a moment or two. I wanted to see what makes this time of year different; quite wonderful and absolute bliss for some. It’s not so wonderful for others. Not to figure out the why’s but just to observe… Is it Christmas that’s wonderful?

This time of year, it’s common to hear people asking one another, “What are YOU doing FOR Christmas?” I hear people saying, “Jesus is the reason for the season”, “It’s not about Santa Claus and the commercialism” and “I am not getting caught up or going into debt.” I hear people saying, “Happy Holidays!” & “Merry Christmas!”, with vigor. I also have been paying attention to some of the lyrics and titles of the more popular Christmas carols. My favorite is Anita Baker’s rendition of “Christmastime is Here”. I also like, “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year”, “…and this Christmas will be a very special Christmas for me heee”, “Oh holy night…fall on your knees, oh hear the angels’ voices..”, “…oh what fun it is to ride on a one horse open sleigh…”, “…I simply remember my favorite things and THEN I don’t feel so bad…”, and “…all is calm, all is bright…” Do you know these songs or have your favorites?

I thought about those lyrics as statements, no judgment, just thoughts. I’ve got the DirectTV music channel set to “Songs of the Seasons” and it’s playing as I type. I have never heard so many spins on Christmas carols, ranging from jazz to country and Kid’s Bop. It’s just festive and light.

I was at the mall the other day and it was busy but not crazy. Sales people were being so helpful. They offered coupons, discounts, special orders (overnight!) and I even had a one sales person to offer to get something from the back for me. I didn’t think stores had a “back” anymore. Well! (I had to look into the imaginary camera, like “whaaat, for me!?”) I have seen in the past few weeks people share hugs more often, laugh and smile a whole lot more. Buying gifts for people they don’t like and spending money they don’t have on those people. A sacrifice? Is that love? Sounds like it could be love to me; even if it is a reluctant choice. Maybe when we give, we’re most like God. Maybe.

I hear and see, even the more, how what people speak and even set to music manifests. What happens when you say “merry”? Merry means to be full of high-spirited gaiety; jolly. Say it enough and it happens. It is! We are! As for those song titles and lyrics, we sing them straight into belief and BAM!, they become evident, too. To some, it is the most wonderful time of the year. What if we said, “Merry Day” or “Happy Day” every day? What if we spoke, sang songs and made music that would make every day “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year”? What do you think? What efforts would you make? You don’t have to answer me, but answer you if you like and just think about it without judgment.

Whether it’s Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or just a time for family and giving in December; what if we speak it merry and just decide to BE happy(iness) 24/7. Then the question may not be so much, “What are you doing for Christmas?” but “Who are you BEing (every day)?” What are you being? Create environments of (heavenly) peace. Do unto others…maybe not what you want, but as they need. Ask them. You can test your relationship, personal and professional by asking people what THEY want and need, to see if you’re willing. Doing, alone, can be rather dutiful, but when you know who you are, BEING feels natural and the doing comes easy.

Decide to have the most wonderful time all of the time and BE the most wonderful, better yet BE a wonder. Do you know how? Who “the wonder” is you are you here to be? What wonderful things you are here to do? How wonderful and well do you do it? Has that changed? How can you upgrade? When is the last time you conducted an inner-view to assess how wonderful you are, now? Who gets access to experience you that way? Who is the listening hear that helps you figure it all out? It would be heartbreaking, self-destructive, negatively affecting every area in your life not to know, be and do the answers to those questions. Because when you know who you are here to be, what you are here to do and you do it with passion, you are the most wonderful any time of the year!

Do you know? I see you. I hear you. You are relevant. You have a purpose and I’m here to help.

Peace and blessings,

TracyMac

TRACYMAC Coaching Services & Solutions for Life Institute

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Post Election: Here’s One Solution!

trump-protest-7591For more than a year now, the fruit of our election season has caused racial, gender, religious and cultural dams to be built, when we assumed we had overcome. Many relationships have become disconnected, the American Dream seems more like a nightmare, to some, because many are shocked, hurt genuinely afraid. Those are the facts. Yet, the truth is: We see you. We hear you. You matter. You are relevant and have a purpose. We’re here to help!

Before, during and after our political elections, it seems we have become the “Un-United States”. Sometimes our collective state is a direct reflection of our individual state of being. We need solutions now in our personal relationships and professional lives. We need solutions for life! Here’s at least one we all can use and benefit from NOW!

Getting solutions and being a solution is much easier than you think.

Feel free to be a part and share this with someone else if you like. Want answers? Need sustainable solutions for life? Listen here!

Posted in Donald Trump, Elections, Hilary Clinton, Interpersonal Relationships, Life Coaching, Love, Mediation, Personal Development, Political, President, Professional Development, Relationship Management, Relationships, Self-Discovery, Social, Solutions for Life, TracyMac, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

How Leading Restaurants Touch You

A more personal Touch

Check this out!

Some time ago I mentioned to you how fast-casual restaurants, like Panera Bread, had replaced some of their cashiers with kiosks. As you know, many grocery store chains, like-Mart, have self checkout, too. I wondered, with all money they are supposedly saving on not having to pay salaries and provide benefits for cashiers, why doesn’t it reflect in the cost of my groceries. It wasn’t saving me a dime. As a matter of fact, my costs have sneakily increased. I mean, hey, if I have to ring it up and bag it myself, pay me, give me a discount or a special coupon would work. Hell, make a light blink or ring a bell or something. Remember the old Kmart blue light special? One of those would do.

But replacing a warm body with a cold kiosk or self checkout had me feeling some kind of way. What about that person’s livelihood, their families, their finances and their quality of life? What about them? They took a service, and not to be condescending at all, they took a servant, as we all are. Not only was the human being gone, but the “good morning”, “good afternoon” and “have a great day”, the human doing, died. Yeah, you could hear a robotic voice say those things on command or read it on a screen, but there was no human interaction, no life exchange, no spirit and no energy.

I recently participated as a panelist about leadership effectiveness and was made aware of how some of our most popular fast-casual restaurants are testing and implementing table service.  They want to reach out and touch you. With table service, you order your food from a cashier or at a kiosk and a human being brings your food to your table. What?! Say it ain’t so! That’s nothing new in the restaurant business, but the logic behind now offering it in quick food eateries is providing, as they say, “service with a more personal touch”. Of course I smiled big, listened and enjoyed the opportunity to chime and be heard.

Management is now looking for a particular personality type, within the company. They want people, people – people who like people. People who have people skills. Incredible! What they also realize is that people, their customers, want people. Genius! Service with a more personal touch. Imagine that. Now don’t get me wrong, the executives making the decisions are not being “touchy feely” at all, except for wanting to touch and feel a profit in their bottom line. They are projecting service will allow them to:

  • Save time
  • Offer consistent and faster service
  • Collect data for and assess QA and QI
  • Streamline processes
  • Support system protocols
  • Maintain cleanliness
  • Minimize waste
  • Keep an eye on you

All of that affects their bottom line. Understand profits are the desired end result, but people, human connection, is the driving force, the “how”. Some fast-casual, table service restaurants are investing in and conducting valuable training for those who will fill these roles. In some forums they are called table runners. Does that sound touchy. No matter what you call them, they will need soft skills, leadership development and relationship effectiveness training and support.

We, humans, have an innate need to be touched, desire interaction and conversations and have a longing for relationships, personal and professional. No matter how much technology, automation, platform integration, meeting projections, markers and margins, system introduction, SOP adherence, it’s funny how their new idea of “service with a more personal touch” is the same old tried and true truth, it’s all about relationships. So, the next time you dine in for a fast-casual meal, like a Panera Breads or a Chick filet, and you receive table service, enjoy a more personal touch, a life exchange, appreciate the service and the servant, and remember, it’s all about relationships!

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Is Your Relationship In Debt?

relationship debtEven the most loving relationships cannot thrive and evolve within the chains of possession. Who owes you and who you owe is the definition of the word, “nobody”. Some relationships are so heavy laden with fairy tale or archaic expectations and entitlements that there are constant charges being made at such a high interest rate that will never be paid off. The relationship is in debt! (continue…)

A relationship experiences a high debt load when one or both people feel they are not getting something they feel entitled to that the other person does not, will not or cannot give. Be it variations of infidelity – emotional, financial or sexual, baggage, media and societal expectations or self-ignorance; indebted relationships have not established a positive relationship currency or a realistic rate of exchange. The relationship currency is the “give and take” and the rate of exchange is the ratio of what how it is valued and exchanged between two different perceptions. It takes self-discovery, time, maturity, communication and realistic expectations to prove what works for your unique relationship.

Your relationship is unique and sometimes relationship debt comes from outside sources; what your relatives, friends, colleagues or even what people in the media do. You place those expectations on your relationship and it starts out owing a debt that the relationship never signed up to be responsible for. Holding someone accountable for what they never committed to can sustain the debt and bankrupt your relationship. Also, if you have been mistreated, not forgiving someone is weighty and you may have to make some hard decisions about your relationship, but ultimately forgiveness will free you from the heaviness of debt in this one or the next.

You can decide to settle relationship debts by deliberately forming a purposeful relationship. Purposeful and loving relationships are debt free and yield the profit of respect! You can experience a committed relationship without ill-fitting entitlements, debt and possession. Some of the best ways to experience the freedom of a purposeful relationship is to:

  • Respect individuality.  Discover who you are as an individual and that will help you define who you are in your relationship. Self-ignorance is the culprit behind most relationship issues.
  • Keep the lines of communication open. Be forthright about your changes and expectations and be willing to allow the relationship to evolve and grow.
  • Be honest about your level of commitment. Commit to yourself first, it brings clarity of how to commit to someone else and appreciates their willingness to do so.
  • Set boundaries. Be realistic about what you want and consistent with you are willing to give. Your relationship should be a healthy exchange where you two flow freely, not a means of control.
  • See the relationship as a partnership to support teamwork instead of having power struggles. The only war in true love is not allowing external issues to negatively affect it.

Know that commitment is an option and what you really owe to yourself and to the relationship is the ability to say, “I owe me to give you my best freely.” and do it, consistently! Allow yourself to be held accountable to the relationship currency you and your partner establish. Yes relationships have architectural definitions but not chains of debt. So don’t allow possession, archaic expectations or ill-fitting entitlements to ride in on the back of love, mutual consensus or genuine commitment.

Of course, you want to love and be loved by someone in a special way, maybe even exclusively. Just don’t allow that exclusivity to incur debt and destroy the freedom of love found in purposeful relationships. There is so much more pleasure in being with someone who is with you freely versus someone who is with you because of controlling debt. Be free from relationship debt. Be free to enjoy the wealth found in healthy and more purposeful relationship.

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Show Your Love

show your love

I know someone passes away every day. But since the first of the year it seems so many people who have gone on… Maybe it’s just what I’m aware of, maybe not.

Whatever the case, tell people you love them, and if you really do, show them. Show them your love. I don’t mean having to dig up relationships that have proven to be toxic or dysfunctional, or a relationship that simply doesn’t want you in it. You can love them anyway, from a distance.  Wayne Dyer said, “Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you.” That may be something to think about…

What I want to do is encourage you to show healthy and hearty love to those you love. When it comes to those you love, as Stevie Wonder sang, “Show him (her or them) your love. Don’t hold back your feelings. You don’t need a reason. When it’s straight from the heart.” You don’t have to wait until Valentine’s Day, because I’m not just talking about a romantic love, and that’s good too. But showing love can take on many faces – family, friends, acquaintances or colleagues,  and that love can include giving & receiving, respecting, helping, holding, talking & listening, praying for & with, writing, hugging, gifting, being quiet together, laughing, playing, doing an unasked favor, etc. You get the picture, right?

Some people say life is short, and that is sadly true for some. But, if you’re reading this life is long, long enough for you to show and tell someone you love them. Be open to receive the same, even when they express it to you differently. Differently? Yes, because you know our uniqueness allows us the privilege to enjoy unlimited expressions!

Sometimes we don’t feel loved because we haven’t been clear on how we need and want to be loved, or maybe we’re requiring a love from someone who just doesn’t have the capacity to love us that way. Love yourself enough to ask for how you desire to be loved, and be & do what it takes to receive it. Remember, ONE person can’t be required to bear the entire weight of expressing love to you, attempting to do so can breed frustration, disappointment and resentment. We may have parameters, vows or agreements on what kind of love we give, express or receive from a specific relationship, but even that, at its best isn’t all the love we need to give or receive.

Show yourself some love by asking. Show your love to someone else, not because you fear they may die, but because they live. Now is always ready. For those who have lost loved ones, may they rest in peace as you are comforted to live in peace.

I love you. I hope writing this is one of the ways to show you.

TracyMacheart

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What If?

What If

What would it be if you invested more of your thoughts, energy, time and money in your own God-given “brand name”? Imagine that! Not just the name we call you, but who you are here to be and what you are here to do!

What if it was, at least, the same way you buy into that just-gotta-have it thing, what you watch, drive, talk on, type & text on, read, your favorite sports team, music artist or actor, what you wear and advertise with your feet & body for someone else’s brand name?

What if you invested in you, that way, too!? What if you did that for your “Reason for Being”, your life’s purpose?! Ooo wee!!! Imagine that…

We all have a dream! What if you had your dream and let your dream have you, more of you…all of you?
What if you made your “what ifs” positive and powerful? Imagine that!

#HappyMLKday
#OnPurpose
#ThroughMission #WithPassion #SweetSixteen

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2016 Is Now

2016

I know it’s been a while since I wrote to you, and I must say, today, I knew it was time to share with you, now! Some of you are letting this year fade and fizzle out, zombie style and you’re blaming Christmas. You plan to go full throttle when the calendar flips to 2016. Uhh…No!

All roads lead to now. There is power in the present of presence. Being present is about creating and living, now. Now is all you really have and a new year isn’t going to magically fix an old mindset or an old you. If you can wait another 30 days, you will wait another year. You are worthy to give you ALL you’ve got, now!

God’s timing is sure and clocks and calendars don’t control your greatness – knowing, being and implementation can encourage and facilitate it!

Don’t be satisfied watching from the sidelines of your own life or simply viewing others! You matter and your purpose and mission are calling you out, and they are using passion to do it! I hope you are completely restless and uncomfortable until you answer, YOU, giving you all you’ve got – spirit, soul & body. May discomfort be your portion, until you positively affect every relationship you have with indisputable, marked results, especially the relationship you have with yourself! You have the innate and Divine ability and response-ability to be so and do so.

If you need or want a little help figuring it out, ask! You can ask me. Many of you already know you would like to, but you allow your own “thought bully”, (I discuss the “thought bully” in my book, “The Book of Purpose: The YOU Testament“), procrastination and pride talk you out of it. Don’t be ashamed. You don’t have time for imagined and unfounded shame, and ashamed help leads to embarrassed results. You nor I have time for that. No judgment here. I get help from many! I have friends, yet, there’s no comparison to hiring a life or business coach and having mentors. Maybe you are blessed to have friends who can coach you. I’m not blessed that way. Most of my friends don’t deliberately help me grow, exponentially, they enjoy the results of my growth, a better me. I can’t and don’t put the weight of my big dreams and visions on them. It can become to heavy for the relationships. If you can use your friends to coach your life, by all means, please do!

Look, friends or not, this is not a blog moment to become popular or get “likes”. I don’t care or give a damn about that! What I am after is a YES! – a yes to you that says “yes” to all you want to be and do! I applaud people who say yes to themselves, now! Even if they are afraid or don’t quite know what it looks like after “yes”. I get it. I have been afraid, as I know many are when it comes to not knowing what’s next or asking for and getting it qualified support. I don’t care about fear, it’s temporary. What I do care about is helping those I am called to live healed, happy and whole, through self-discovery and personal & professional development! You do have all the time you need to live that way! And if you’re afraid, take fear with you. I did, and what I found out: It will become disinterested and detach itself along the way, and show up at every progression. So deal with it!

It’s not about fearing what you can’t do, but what you won’t do. Why? Don’t allow clocks, calendars or holidays to pause your purpose into procrastination and treat yourself like a forgotten wishlist. Your time is now. You matter now. You are waiting on you now. Your relationships, your next client, your book, your idea is waiting. Your dreams are on hold, don’t let them die in the waiting room. Now is always ready. On Purpose, through Mission and With Passion.

It’s all about relationships! You and all of your relationships are depending on the one you are having with yourself. Now is ready!

I see you.
I hear you.
You matter.
I am here to help and serve.

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